How Do I Know What to Pray?

Sometimes I don't even know what to pray. How do I know what the will of God is in a given situation? I know from Jesus' words that I don't have to be afraid to ask. I can trust that He has my best interests at heart. God is wanting to give me good things in my life and my children's lives. I wouldn't give my child a dirty rock instead of a tasty, hot, baked roll and I am just a messed up human, so shouldn't I expect God wants to do good to me and mine?

 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"  ~Matthew 7:7-11

The dilemma is WHAT do I ask God to do?
Sometimes I seem to contradict myself and worry myself sick that I could be praying THE WRONG THING. How then in confusing circumstances do I know what to pray?
Do I pray for someone who is terminally ill to be healed? Someone who is clearly hurting and ready to go to heaven, or that God would be glorified and many come to Him because of that godly person's death and clear witness? Do I pray for better circumstances for my child when I see they are clearly hurting or or straying, or that whatever it takes they would be where they should be? I have come to the point in my prayer struggles that I feel can be persistent in praying what I think is the will of God, and make my requests to Him, like the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18, but I don't have to worry if I know His will perfectly, because.... 
He knows His own will! I can just pour my heart out to Him and He will work on changing me first. He can do exceedingly MORE than I ask! 

 
"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:26-28

At times I feel I should be like the woman in Jesus' parable that never stopped asking until she got her answer, at other times I feel I've pestered petitioned Him enough and I must keep giving the situation to Him every day if need be until it is resolved in His timing, and in His way. How many times have I looked back and said, "Thanks Lord, that You did NOT answer my prayer! Your way was so much better!" I can make my requests known to Him and rest, because He will guard my heart and mind and give me peace.

Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’ Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?  ~Luke 18:1-8
  
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7

If You Ever

If you ever need a friend. If you ever need a listening ear. If everyone else's lives seem perfect, 

you can talk to me. 

Or find a true friend, maybe an older person whom you trust to confide in, ask advice from. Talking to Jesus is best, but sometimes you just need a friend besides Jesus, or maybe that's being Jesus in the flesh and bones on earth to someone...being there for them in heartache. Nothing you could tell me about your family would shock me, because as a friend of mine said, "Satan doesn't need any new tricks, 

he just uses the same ones down through time."

Sometimes I wonder if that's why we don't have perfect families. We are supposed to be able to empathize with others. Jesus is our high priest, and the bible says: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin." ~ Hebrews 4:15

So He sympathizes with us in our weakness and He knows we are far from perfect, and so our families are far from perfect. We shouldn't pretend we are perfect to our kids or the world. Who is going to reach out for encouragement if every one of us looks like we have it all together? We are to strive for personal holiness without becoming holier-than-thou. Thank You, Lord, for my imperfect world that makes me long for You even more. Thank You, that you allow daily turn-arounds.

"I will praise the Lord at all times;
my mouth will continually praise him." ~ Psalm 34:1

Mental Marbles and Good Forgetting

This post is for those kindred spirits of mine with busy-ness and much on your minds. Maybe some days you worry like Toodles in the movie "Hook" that you've "lost your marbles". (They really were his marbles and his happy thoughts.)


If it makes you feel any better I was distracted this morning and pulled the dishwasher soap out of the cabinet and started toward Patty Dog's bowl with it, instead of the dishwasher. Anyone else might have had a small panic about their mental capacity. Not me. I just smiled at her and said, "You know better than to eat that if I ever made it to the bowl, don't you?"  Of course she does. It smells bad!

Forgetfulness can be a blessing as I blogged awhile back about how I forget and how our Father is even better at it. I've personally known folks who remember every slight from years ago and keep account. What a horrible load of stuff to labor under. Those we hold grudges against probably go about their lives happily oblivious to our accounting methods. And then who is hurting? Who is agonizing and fretting? WE are. THAT is why He asks us to lay our burdens down. To forgive so that we may be forgiven. 
Thank you Father, that you don't keep a sin account on me! 


"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." Mark 11:25 


The bible doesn't say to wait to forgive until we feel like it. Or to wait until we think we can forget, or to even wait until we're asked for forgiveness. Forgiving and praying for those who've hurt us is what we should do regardless of what others do. Right actions will bring right feelings. Even if right actions don't bring right feelings, we must do it anyway. I must open my fist and let things go, or they will poison me. 
 "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison, and waiting for your the other person to die."

People Can Disappoint

People can disappoint me, they can disappoint you.

I recently thought I was okay with a "something" that happened, or actually failed to happen, in spite of my lofty expectations. The Lord has lead me to realize this week that I need to overcome idol worship in many forms. No, I don't have any golden idols that I burn incense for and bow down in front of, but I have idols nonetheless. You probably have a few that need tearing down too. I think I'll share a series of my thoughts on various idols I've struggled with, and some I continue to haul around with me. These idols sit on my back and weigh me down. I'm ready to chop them to bits and have done with them, but I suspect I'll be just like the Israelites and keep struggling with honoring and fretting over things and people that were never meant to be God to me. A wise woman will realize that only with God's help can we be free of those things which drag us down, and eventually make slaves of us.

So first is PEOPLE as idols. My pastor says "Folks are just folks."  What he means is that people are flawed. They aren't prefect. They WILL hurt and disappoint us. Even the best people in our lives cannot be perfect. They can't fix everything, can't be there for us always....the list goes on. We expect so MUCH from people. Humans were never meant to be God to us. Our children, our husbands, our parents, our teachers, our pastors are not God, but we often treat them as if they should be. We either expect perfection and holiness or a relationship that was never meant to be filled by anyone other than God.  Or WE can set ourselves up as a god. Not THE God, but a god, because we demand perfection of others without mercy. We want adoration as the only one whose agenda matters, and we forget Who the true Lord of the Universe is. (We chuckle at that, but you know it's true)

We can be seriously hurt...both our pride and feelings if we set ourselves or others in God's place, AND it is a form of idolatry.

"Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the LORD Himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other."  -Deuteronomy 4:39

What if there were a video camera?

Lights, camera, action!

What if there were a video camera recording your words, tone of voice and facial expression when you are speaking to the people you love most? I ask this question because I recently said I needed to record a family member's speech when they think they are sounding perfectly nice, and they aren't. Then I started thinking about my own speech. Hmm, convicting.

What if there were an constant audio visual presentation of what comes out of my mouth and the way in which it spews? Unfortunately God sees and hears. Sometimes it's not even what we say, but the way we say it that is offensive. More than offensive to our family, it's offensive to a Holy God whom we say we honor and love. To be a wise woman I need to backtrack, ask God and my family's forgiveness and start over with words that are more pleasant to hear, even if they are a reprimand for a child. If we want respect, it has to start with us.

"My lips will not speak wickedness..." Job 27:4a

^"Yes, my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak right things. " Proverbs 23:16

"A time to keep silence, And a time to speak" Ecclesiastes 3:7

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." Matthew 12:36

"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34b

Number Our Days

"So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom." -Psalm 90:12

If the Lord delays His coming, and we live a natural life, how many days do we have left here on earth?

Do this: Get a calculator and think about how long you are likely to live. Be generous and give yourself 75 years. So if you are 40 multiply 35 (your estimated remaining years) times 365 to number your days.

My number is 10,950. Doesn't sound like much when you put it into days, does it? But I may not have tomorrow. There are no guarantees.

How will numbering our days gain us a heart of wisdom? In Psalm 90 Moses writes about how God feels towards sin. Part of it reads:

"You have set our iniquities before You,
Our secret sins in the light of Your countenance.
For all our days have passed away in Your wrath;
We finish our years like a sigh.
The days of our lives are seventy years;
And if by reason of strength they are eighty years,
Yet their boast is only labor and sorrow;
For it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
Who knows the power of Your anger?
For as the fear of You, so is Your wrath.
So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Return, O LORD!
How long?
And have compassion on Your servants.
Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.
And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands." Psalm 90:8-17

What I learn from this Psalm:
First I learn that God knows all our little secret sins. There's no hiding from Him.
I'm not going to live forever, and when I die I will face the pure and righteous judge.
I can offer Him nothing good on my own.
Only by God's mercy can I have a life free from the guilt of sin. A life full of meaning and value.

And second, I learn that our days are limited here on earth for doing what we should be doing. Jesus spoke about the value of time: "I must work the works of Him who sent me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work"-John 9:4

"So then you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil" -Ephesians 5:15-16

What we do TODAY should count for something because we are exchanging a day of our lives for it.

I need to set goals. My biggest waste of time is having only a vague idea of what I'm trying to accomplish as a parent and Christian, or what we are trying to accomplish schooling. Some days we seem to spin our wheels accomplishing little. I want to set daily goals of Bible study, prayer, elimination of sinful attitudes and actions focusing on godly principles for myself and children, becoming more Christ-like, obeying God's word...

My weekly and monthly goals may be things such as getting us to church, talking to people about Christ, visiting or calling the sick or those I know need encouragement, practicing hospitality...

I need to commit my priorities to paper, thinking about the most important use of my time right now. I want to list my priorities in order of importance. I should refuse to do what's not on the list. Do first things first. I don't know about you, but I often get mired down with the trivial things and neglect the vital things. I need to remember Mary and Martha: "You are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her" -Luke 10:41-42

What was the "good part" that Mary had chosen? She was sitting, listening at the feet of Jesus. Are we taking time to do the same, or are we caught up in so much running around "serving" that we have forgotten the most important thing? Listening to and obeying Him, and teaching our children to do so.

There's never enough time to do everything, but there's always enough time to do important things. I don't want to be diverted, or distracted from the important tasks set before me.

Taking Offense

I've had a couple of conversations recently about taking offense. Someone thought they'd offended or hurt me and I wasn't offended at all. I told them that I rarely get offended. That sounds like a brag, and I think the Lord brought to mind later how often I do take offense.


Just one example is my mild road rage. Some days it seems like everyone is talking on their cell phones, running red lights, and I suspect I may have a giant electro-magnet on the side of my car that draws folks out of their lane into mine. So I start talking to the car of offense: "Hey, red car! Get in your lane!" , "Don't pull out, don't pull out truck!"


My 76 year-old mother was in my car one day as this was going on and commented, "Honey, don't talk to those people they can't hear you, and it's a sign of immaturity." I was offended when she said that, but......she was right. :)


I think that more than not being easily offended at people I'm just oblivious. Oblivious that anyone would intend to leave me out, snub me, intentionally do something mean. Now, if you hurt my babies, watch out! I usually notice that.


One of my sisters used to call me Miss Gullible. Gullible is being easily deceived or duped. All her practical jokes and tricks worked on me. I still love her, by the way.


"He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love" -Proverbs 17:9

Family Roots-Spiritual Roots

Family roots are wonderful to explore, but what are our spiritual roots?

This is a photo of my step-grandmother's family. She was just a baby in 1910 when this photo was taken. She was already being raised in a Christian home. I never thought of her as a step-grandma. I was very close to her, she was just "Grandma" to me. She was a godly, soft spoken woman. She opened her mouth with wisdom....she was a wise woman who loved her Lord. I want to grow up to be like her.



God speaks about the good roots of the person who trusts in the Lord. Not a perfect person, but a person who trusts in the Lord:

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
And whose hope is the LORD.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit." -Jeremiah 17:7-8

"All have sinned" Romans says. Christians are sinners. They haven't "arrived" at perfection. They are only different from other sinners in that they listened to the tug on their hearts that there is a God, He loves them and provided a way out of their hopeless situation. They realize their failings, their brokenness, their total inability to do good, to be good in their actions, or in their hearts, and they have thrown themselves on the mercy of the only righteous judge. A judge who took off His holy robe, stepped down into time and our world to die for our sin so that we don't have to suffer eternal death. The judge paid our fine for us. How cool is that?!

You might have been away from church for a long time, or never set foot in one. Maybe you think you know too many hypocrites in the church. There's always room for one more hypocrite! Come on in! We are all spiritually broken people looking for a hospital.

Speaking of hypocrites, there's a parable Jesus tells about the wheat and the weeds (tares) which is very interesting:

Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares? He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:24-30

Jesus gives the meaning in Matthew 13:36-43

That was a dirty trick, sowing weeds that look like wheat into the fields. They can't be removed without harming the wheat, uprooting it. Satan is the evil sower, so what is he sowing? His sons, which are everyone from the most awful unrepentant sinner to the false Christian. When I realized there could be tares in the church itself, it freed me from a lot of bitterness. That may sound strange, but the knowledge gave me relief to know that when Christian people are mean, they might not be Christians at all! It also caused me to look at my own life, stop pointing my finger at everyone else, and examine my own heart...."Am I a tare, or could I appear to be one to others?"
"Do I need to remove the beam from my own eye?"

We should "work out our salvation with fear and trembling" :

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. -Philippians 2:1-16



"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled..." Hebrews 12:14-15

A Good Belly Laugh

"A merry heart does good, like medicine,
But a broken spirit dries the bones." -Proverbs 17:22

"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." -Proverbs 15:13

There's nothing as uplifting as hearing my good friend, or my sister laugh uproariously. Both ladies know how to bring the cheer out of the depths of their hearts and let it spill out in side-holding, tear-inducing, I'm-gonna-wet-my-pants laughter. Just let my sister tell you the story of the time the Texas wind blew her nativity set away...."Mary was rolling across the lawn, Joseph was hitting the side of the house, and baby Jesus was no where to be found!"

I love being around cheerful people. God says a merry heart is good medicine and makes a cheerful countenance. What's a countenance? Technically it's your face, but it's also your demeanor, behavior toward others, expression, composure, your bearing. So I think that means what's on the inside comes out in our faces and actions, kind of like the other thing God said about what's in our hearts comes out of our mouths. (See: Luke 6:45, Proverbs 27:19, and Proverbs 4:23.)

As awful as sorrow is, God can use even sadness for our good. We can mourn over our sin. Bad situations can bring us back to God. There are situations were sorrow is better than laughter.

"Sorrow is better than laughter, For by a sad countenance the heart is made better."-Ecclesiastes 7:3

"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Bless Beth Moore!

I'm studying Esther with the Beth Moore study on Esther. I really like her people studies. I loved the Daniel study also. You could sink your teeth into that one!

Why do I especially want to say, "Bless Beth" today? Because in the last video lecture I watched she spoke about women who dress provocatively. I can't tell you everything she said, but she passed on a conversation she'd had with the mother of young men. The other mom had asked, "Why do young women dress that way? Don't they know what they're doing to these young men?" (and older ones, I'd say) Beth replied, "Yes, they know exactly what they're doing, and that's why they're doing it." She said women can dress cute without being revealing. When you show off what you have, you take away your dignity and your mystery as a woman.

She went on to say that no one dresses accidentally. Boy, is that ever true? We women do know exactly what we're doing when we dress a certain way. We shouldn't dress to cause another to stumble, neither should our daughters. We know instinctively that guys are sight-triggered, it is our responsibility to dress modestly, young and old women, little girls and teens.

1Peter 3:3-4
" Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

Searching For True Love

These are excellent VCR tapes by Josh Harris. There are 3 in the Searching For True Love series. You'd want them all. Love, Purity and Trust. They're oldies, but goodies.

Josh is funny enough to keep a teen's attention and serious enough for parents. His on-the-street interviews sadly show how people view the meaning of love. It's evident they don't have a clue. Do you? Do your teens?

I hope they eventually release them on DVD. Maybe if we pester him? The FBC church library has them. Well, not right now....I have them, but I'll take them back so you can borrow them. The ones I have were actually transferred to DVD. Cool, huh?

I wrote out a few questions for my teen:

• Am I content where God has placed me in my singleness? Why, or why not?
• Write out Ephesians 5:15-16. The King James and New King James versions say, "redeeming the time", What does this mean?
• How am I redeeming the time? (What am I doing with my single time for God?)
• What could I be doing?
• Am I committed to wait for the one God will bring to me?
• Am I firm in my convictions about courtship?
  

A Beka Bible Doctrines

A Beka Bible Doctrines for Today is sold for 10th grade. This is a book I recommend for high school and up. 5 thumbs up! :)

Possibly slightly younger grades could read through with parental help. Every Christian adult should have such a marvelous doctrinal gem on their bookshelf AND actually read and understand what's in it!

As is usual with A Beka courses there is a teacher book, student book, test & quizzes booklet, and answers to tests & quizzes booklet. If you know me, you know that we don't use everything A Beka puts out there, even though we LOVE their curriculum. We dug into the Bible and read through and discussed the Bible Doctrines book. Meaty, wonderful discussions. No tests were needed for me to know whether we'd "gotten it" or not.

Cherry New Year !

My favorite cherry recipe was always made by my favorite aunt. She was a great cook and a wonderful example of godly womanhood. I miss her. More about Aunt Dorothy later. First her recipe:

Yummy Cherry Stuff

Some people call it dump cake because you dump everything in a baking dish. We just call it that "Yummy Cherry Stuff That Aunt Dorothy Made". There are versions using crushed pineapple or fresh blueberries. Once again: This Is Not A Healthy Recipe! That's why I only make it once a year. I was going to post a picture, but it was attacked and mostly eaten before I remembered.

Butter or spray a 9 x 13 baking dish. Dump the following ingredients in order listed and spread out in the pan. Don't mix together.

1. 2 cans cherry pie filling
2. 1 DRY white or yellow cake mix (yes, just the dry stuff)
3. 2 sticks butter (melted or just cut up and placed on top)
4. 1 cup coconut
5. 1/2 cup chopped pecans (optional, but yummy)

Bake at 350 until top is browned. About 30 minutes.


Aunt Dorothy was diagnosed with a brain tumor when I was young. The doctors didn't expect her to live past the year. She had 2 surgeries to remove parts of the tumor, but in the 70's there just wasn't much hope even with chemo. I was just a kid at the time, but I knew it was serious and scary. She was sick from headaches and chemo, but she clung to the Lord in such a way that it made a lasting impression on me. I'd never known anyone who talked to God like He was standing right there, a Friend and a Father, a Comforter and Confidant. I'd never seen anything like it. I wanted to be like her. I still do.

I really got to know and love her when I started traveling with her and Momma to Saint Francis to the cancer treatment specialists. It was a serious thing, of course, but it was a lot of fun in the beginning because she and Momma were so much fun. We stopped and bought peaches on the way home once because she wanted a peach. Momma told her we didn't have any way to wash them, and not even a paper towel to use for a napkin. Of course Momma did stop and buy peaches, took a pillowcase off a pillow, and rubbed the fuzz off a juicy, perfectly huge peach and gave it to her. Dorothy pronounced it, "The best peach I ever ate!"

I remember squeezing into the cab of a pick-up truck with Momma, Aunt Dorothy, Grandma, and my sister-in-law. I was the only skinny one, because I was still young. This was no F-150. I sat on the edge of the seat the 30+ miles to "town" and back. We laughed the whole trip. No one is as fun as a bunch of Christian women who love each other,
and I wanted to be smack dab in the middle of them!

She took me with her to buy Tex-Mex when we were in Odessa.
Tex-Mex was something we didn't have much of around home. She asked me if I wanted refried beans. When I replied I didn't even know what a refried bean was, she exclaimed, "Well honey, you have to have some then! You'll love 'em!"
I think of her every time I eat refried beans. What a tribute, huh? Somehow I don't think she'd mind.

I went with her to her church. First time I'd ever set my bashful foot inside a Pentecostal church. I wasn't afraid with her there. It was wonderful to kneel beside my favorite aunt and listen to her offering up prayers to God. I hung on her every word. It was like the Spirit of the Lord just hung around her like a garment.

Did I mention she lived much longer than the doctors expected? YEARS longer.
I know that whatever pain and sickness she endured was not in vain. If for nobody else, the Lord let her live longer for my sake. For my sake, yes.
Thank you Lord. Let me be like my grandmother and Aunt Dorothy.

Forgetful

I am very forgetful. The first time I meet you, I'll remember your face and something you said, but usually I'll try to rename you.
If you're "Peggy", I'll remember "Patty".

I've never once made it all the way to the car, and on my way, without returning into the house for something.

I'm not sure where my watch is at this moment.
Momma said I'd forget my head....

Sometimes forgetfulness is a wonderful thing.
Wish I was better at it.
One positive aspect of that kind of forgetfulness is that as time passes I forget the sting of an offense.

And God chooses to "forget" my offenses. How cool is that? Sometimes I morn over past sins which He's already forgiven.
I hash them over.

I'll say, "How can you love someone like me?
How can you forgive what I was, what I did?"

I don't hear an audible voice, but I do feel as if God says to my heart, "Daughter, I don't know what you're talking about."


8 The LORD is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
9 He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father pities his children,
So the LORD pities those who fear Him.
14 For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
16 For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
And its place remembers it no more.
17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting
On those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
18 To such as keep His covenant,
And to those who remember His commandments to do them.
-Psalm 103:8-18

Feelings

My feelings were hurt this week. The offender probably didn't even know they did so. When that kind of thing happens I want to whine to the Lord about pitiful me, how trampled upon I feel, how unjust, how wronged.... but I have no right to take offense. God was offended beyond anything I could suffer, and He did it for my sake. I'm called to forgive, by the Greatest Forgiver. I'm called to be long-suffering, by the One who suffered in my stead. How can I dare refuse that? Especially when He trades my heartache for joy? My bitterness for concern for others? My turmoil for peace? That's a pretty good trade.


"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." - Proverbs 17:9

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." - I Corinthians 13:4-7

What is the Treasure of My Heart?

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

Knowing that what is really inside me comes falling out of my mouth is very sobering. If we stopped to think when we're "having a bad day" that we are sometimes revealing our motives,
our ugly attitudes, our unlovely selves through our speech, it would drive us to God and our families for forgiveness. What kind of example do I give my kids if I'm loudly impatient with the driver in front of me? If I can speak kind words only to those outside my home? If I have a "telephone voice" right after poisonous words? And I expect respectful words from them? No matter how often we want them to exhibit good manners and kindness, it will never be completely taught. It must be "caught". I'm incapable of always being kind. It's that knowledge that sends me to God asking for His grace and kindness, because I can't do it on my own. I fail miserably. When our kids fail, it's a teachable moment to explain that we can't be good on our own. That's why we need a Savior.


"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:28

She Opens Her Mouth

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Proverbs 31:26 says. Does it occur to anyone else that she was indeed a wise woman because she must have had her mouth closed at some beginning point to open it?

Women are Chatty Cathys. We all know it. I remember reading somewhere that men have 2,000 words that they use in a day, and we women have 100,000 or so. By the time we see our guys at the end of the day, we've only used up half our allotment. Is it any wonder men have dens and garages to seek refuge in? I want to seek to make my home a haven from the world for my family, instead of a whirlwind of words that aren't heard for all the wind.

I want to be a wise woman of God. I've had the benefit of some wise women in my life. Women who loved and honored God. Women who were humble, quietly moving others to follow their footsteps. I want to be that woman too. God calls me to be that woman.