Mom as Peacemaker

Over the years I've gently coaxed family members toward each other when words of forgiveness or encouragements need to be spoken. I think it's a momma's job to help the children to respect their father. Also to gently speak to our husbands (never in front of the kids) about using kinder words, clearer words, encouraging words, with the children. Asking them how we can also do better.

I encouraged children who would come to me with a complaint, or hurt feelings to go with me to speak to Dad. I might start the conversation with, "Dad, A____ , feels very hurt and wants to talk to you."
That would lead Dad to say something like, "I'm very sorry I hurt your feelings, I just don't want you to....."

I recall an evening when my husband was sitting outside in the dark worrying about one of our teenagers. I spoke to the offender and told them where Dad was and why, and suggested they go out there. Up until then I think our teen had the mistaken idea that Dad was unreasonable. Knowing that he was very seriously concerned, because of love, changed everything.

A young one of ours harbored bitterness for YEARS over what they felt was an unjust swat from Dad in front of a cousin who laughed about it. I'd had enough of hearing the story rehashed and told the stinker that even if the spanking was unjust, it was TIME to get over it and FORGIVE. They were a young Christian, after all. I shared Ephesians 4:31-32 "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
(Don't we all need to memorize and put that to practice?) We prayed about it together and finally there was a release of all that bitterness.

Encourage your kids to honor their fathers by speaking and acting honorable toward him yourself.